Sorry for the delay. Hey- I love to laugh. Having a child was great for me in that I had many new things to laugh at and about. These days, I’ve had a hard time writing about funny things because the world is tumultuous and decidedly unfunny. Being sensitive to everything that’s happening- the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality protests, COVID-19, all the needless deaths-  I lost my voice.  It’s all so overwhelming and I find it hard to put something out into the world so flippant and silly as my little blog when big, important events are occurring. I’m trying to do the work: I’m reflecting and donating, and reading and doing a lot of thinking. And yet, I miss writing.

I bought my husband a NY Daily News for Father’s Day, because what dad doesn’t love a newspaper? In the Daily News, there was a comics section, which was full of crappy comics. They’re still putting out frivolous stuff, so I shouldn’t feel afraid to do the same, I suppose.

Let’s delve into the goofiness, shall we?

I bought my cats a puzzle feeder because I thought they were overweight and bored. I’m really projecting onto them, because I feel bloated and bored. Why don’t they make puzzle feeders for people? I could use one of those. In order to get your Girl Scout Cookies (Samoas only, please. Don’t come at me with those nasty Thin Mints. And please turn around and go back home if you only have those butter cookies. No.) Where was I? Oh, in order to get your Girl Scout Cookies, you must roll the cookie through a maze and down a chute where you have to arm-wrestle a sailor. If you win, you get 2 cookies. If you lose, you are keelhauled for 20 minutes. I’d definitely lose weight with a contraption like that. The puzzle feeder has been a hit for the cats, though they do not have to wrestle a sailor. They do have to negotiate a living space populated by flying toys and a toddler who is determined to feed them. He likes to shove a piece of cat food into their face and scream “EAT IT” at them. He loves those cats.

I do find that I am less bored and feeling less poofy these days. The boredom comes with anxiety, I think. My creative mind is too clogged with all the news- all the changes- and it doesn’t have room to do what it wants, which is make stuff up. Make jokes, make things. So it shuts off if it can’t do that. I’m working out often as an antidote to feeling chunky, yet those cookies keep callin’ me. But I vanquished them quite soundly by finishing off the entire box. I’m so proud of myself!

Have you had a COVID test yet? Me neither, though Boychild developed a fever the other day and we took him to get one at the drive-through testing site. I do like the sound of a drive-thru. Sadly, these drive thrus don’t offer burgers, only pain- very convenient pain. I had the luxury of sitting in the front seat while a very nice lady stuck what looked like a long mascara wand up our child’s nose and into his brain. Poor Husband was in the backseat with him as he screamed and cried. Ugh. Boychild recovered much quicker than Husband, who I’m pretty sure has PTSD now. Because our child hates food, we bought him books and puzzles to soothe his battered snoot and make him forget the painful test. He’s fine. The test was negative. Husband is still having nightmares. As am I. Oh, COVID nightmares! Nothing like dreaming you’re dying alone surrounded by people in masks, amiright?

I’ll write more soon. I must tell you about the “big penis” conversation I woke up to this morning . . .

Here’s to humor and silliness and being alive right now.

-H