I’m not sure people really know how they come across to others. I have no idea. I’ve been interviewing for jobs, and the most dreaded question for me is “what are your weaknesses?” I never give a good answer, as I think my weaknesses aren’t really defined by me, but by what other people expect from me that I fail to deliver for them. I also find my weaknesses to be part and parcel of who I am and a reflection of my own expectations: I cannot make a quick decision to save my life, I am hilariously authentic, I have no poker face, and I cannot figure out what to do with my hair. But these are self-perceived weaknesses, or rather the weaknesses that I will cop to on my blog 😉. Others may have a different opinion what my weaknesses actually are, like my dear Boychild.

Last night, he asked me “where do you live?” I was a little confused, so I said “where do you think I live?” He pointed right at me and said, “You live at work!” Um, I felt my heart crack open on that one. He’s been sick recently, so we’ve spent a lot of time together, watching Peppa Pig* and snuggling. When he was finally well enough to go back to daycare, I had to return to working in the office instead of at home and it was hard on both of us. He begged me not to go to work, then begged me to take him along. Ugh. This is being a working mother thing is really hard (so is being a working dad). The guilt is intense and, I imagine, unending. According to Boychild, one of my weaknesses is that I live at work. Or maybe my weaknesses is that I’m afflicted with mom-guilt.

*Side note: My son put a game token on his face and told me he was wearing a “mosque.” I was like, “Oh yeah? Cool, I guess.” I had no idea why he’d be wearing a mosque, but okay. Kids say weird stuff all the time. And then it hit me: Peppa Pig has given my child a British accent. He was wearing a “mask.” The actress in me was delighted: he can do accents!!! It’s adorable having this little British child around, and I especially love how he says “cuckoo clock.”

Another one of Boychild’s observations is that I’m fat. Not that he minds, but it is a little shocking when I’m goofing around, rolling on the floor with him and he points to my stomach and says “bowl full of jelly” while giggling madly. Then he repeats it over and over, all the while being thoroughly amused at my untoned midriff. I’d like to rethink my introduction of Santa into our home, as the phrase “bowl full of jelly” is used to describe that jolly old elf’s tummy. I’ve thought about pointing at my belly and saying, “this is your old apartment, buddy, so if you don’t like the way it looks, it’s partially your fault.” But I can’t tell him that because he’s adorable. Also, carrying a few extra pounds doesn’t bother me that much. A little, but not enough to, like, I dunno, stop eating cheese in a jar.
In fairness, I’ve only had one person ask me directly about weaknesses. The big one they throw at you these days is “Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about yourself?” That open-ended question is where I really get thrown. Recall the “hilariously authentic” thing in paragraph one? Yeah, I can’t stop myself from saying things like, “well, I’m a goofball,” or “I have a small child,” neither of which should be mentioned at a job interview (I guess) and both of which they will surely find out later. Anyhow, wish me luck on my continued job search and Lord help us all!