“Oh sh!t, where’d he go?” He was just at the end of the picture frame aisle. I was distracted by the signs reading “40% OFF!” and went into a reverie about all the unframed pictures I had at home. Was I doing them a disservice by allowing them to languish, unframed, in various places? Am… Read More Lost in the Craft Store
Hey- remember that last time that I talked about starting school? Yeah, I dropped out. Or rather, I delayed for a year. I’m a little, um, what’s the word, ashamed? Maybe? Feel maybe like a little bit of a disappointment to myself, my family and others? Balancing the feeling of shame is one of deep… Read More When to Fold ‘Em
Anyone who has owned a pet knows the stress of naming the animal properly. At least it stresses me out. Friends of mine have come up with a good solution to the pet-naming dilemma. They name all their dogs after family members, which I find charming and also pretty loaded. Is it awkward when their… Read More What’s in a Name?
Dear reader, you have no idea how difficult writing this post was. I am naturally a “lowest hanging fruit” sort of joke-maker, and discussing poop is a loaded topic. I could squeeze out bad joke after bad joke for this one! I wanted so badly to dump every idiomatic expression about dookie into this post… Read More Potty Humor
Let’s go back to a magical time- pre-COVID, pre-lockdown, when staying home for three straight days with one’s toddler required taking time off. Commence wavy lines aaaand *blewdlie doop, blewdlie doop, blewdlie doop . . . * Boychild was about to turn 3 and we thought it was finally time to make this whole potty… Read More Potty Training, Part 1
A short play about trying to get a shirt on my child. Two announcers, MARCUS and BOB are perched at my dining room table while an unseen announcer introduces the main event. ANNOUNCER: In this corner, at five foot seven, weighing 174 pounds, we have BIG MAMA! And in the other corner, standing knee-high to… Read More Gorgeous Lady of Wrestling
Fussy Pantz 