A short play about trying to get a shirt on my child. Two announcers, MARCUS and BOB are perched at my dining room table while an unseen announcer introduces the main event. ANNOUNCER: In this corner, at five foot seven, weighing 174 pounds, we have BIG MAMA! And in the other corner, standing knee-high to… Read More Gorgeous Lady of Wrestling
We are lucky enough to live a stone’s throw away from a college. There are certainly drawbacks to living on a college campus, like when the students are on the prowl at 1am Saturday mornings and yell and laugh and fill the early morning air with their drunken post-adolescent angst. Or when they steal our… Read More Audience Member-in-Training
Last week, I was felled by what I can only imagine was a troupe of rogue viruses performing experimental theater in my digestive tract. It lasted 24 hours, involved lots of weird noises, and made me nearly crap my pants, just like some of the best experimental theater in Manhattan today. My virus was not,… Read More Parental Guidance
What, a weekend? What a weekend! Husband and I had roughly 24 hours without Boychild this weekend, and it was many things: restful, anxiety-provoking, and fun. Let me explain. It was restful because I wasn’t awoken to “Mammaa. Mammaaa! Mammaaaaa! Wanna GET OUT.” Boychild wakes at 4:45, or 5am, but must stay in bed ‘til… Read More A Day Off
As the household expert on toddlers (if my husband is not home), I thought I would help you, dear readers, with your shopping. But rather than help you out with what to BUY for a toddler, I’d like to share with you what NOT to buy. Here are my worst gifts for toddlers, 2019 edition.… Read More Worst Gifts for Toddlers 2019
Hey- did you know that having a child will make you sick? I mean, not just the birthing part where you can’t sit down without a rubber doughnut for months. No. SICK! I mean, sick. Colds, flu, some weird skin disease that looks like you’re rotting. I didn’t know this. I would’ve invested in liters… Read More Mal à la tête
Fussy Pantz 