Hi. I’m a grown woman who gave herself a black eye with a car door last night. While the responsibility of my injury doesn’t rest solely on me (there was snow, a full moon, and my menstrual cycle all at play), I do feel really silly. Who gets a black eye? A middle-aged black eye?… Read More Grown-Up Fun
Hey- remember that last time that I talked about starting school? Yeah, I dropped out. Or rather, I delayed for a year. I’m a little, um, what’s the word, ashamed? Maybe? Feel maybe like a little bit of a disappointment to myself, my family and others? Balancing the feeling of shame is one of deep… Read More When to Fold ‘Em
It’s the thick of the summer. July somethingth. I dunno. 25th? Dates have sort of lost their meaning in the quarantining. I looked at my face the other day and thought, “Ooh. What is wrong with my skin? Is the lighting weird in here or something? I look odd.” And then it hit me: I… Read More Pale Lady
A snapshot of right now: I’m here, lying on my bed, bruises under my armpits from using crutches (incorrectly?). Feet up, one in a big traction boot, listening to Britney Spears sing Toxic (song of the summer, doncha know). My son is making play-doh cats in the living room with his grandma. I’m wondering how… Read More Torn Ligaments and Anti-Depressants
Anyone who has owned a pet knows the stress of naming the animal properly. At least it stresses me out. Friends of mine have come up with a good solution to the pet-naming dilemma. They name all their dogs after family members, which I find charming and also pretty loaded. Is it awkward when their… Read More What’s in a Name?
My son thinks I pee out of my butt. I don’t. Unless you count that one time when I ate at Waffle House, but that’s disturbing and I’d like to move along. SO. Boychild is really confused about my parts, and I don’t blame him. Genitals are weird and confusing things. When I was young,… Read More Penises and . . . ?
Fussy Pantz 