I’m currently walking around with a pair of cream colored bedroom shoes in my hands. They’re my mom’s. She bought them for the chilly Vermont winters when she comes to visit. I think they look like someone skinned a clinically depressed sheep then made an even sadder pair of shoes from that poor bastard’s hide.… Read More Birthday Pot Cookie Quarantine Good Times
We’re all still alive. The shorthaired cat we call Tootie may die soon. Let me rephrase: I may throw her out a window, where she will escape and be eaten by a badger or a fisher cat. I’d never heard of a fisher cat before moving to Vermont, but now I know that they are… Read More Quarantine, Week Seleventheenth
Hey! How’s it going? You doin’ okay during these strange times? This is some discombobulating sh!t right here. By now, you probably know the entire world is going through MASSIVE UPHEAVALS and we’re all feeling it in different ways. But I want you to know that you are not alone. I mean, you probably ARE… Read More Upside/Downside, Upside Down
A short play about trying to get a shirt on my child. Two announcers, MARCUS and BOB are perched at my dining room table while an unseen announcer introduces the main event. ANNOUNCER: In this corner, at five foot seven, weighing 174 pounds, we have BIG MAMA! And in the other corner, standing knee-high to… Read More Gorgeous Lady of Wrestling
We are lucky enough to live a stone’s throw away from a college. There are certainly drawbacks to living on a college campus, like when the students are on the prowl at 1am Saturday mornings and yell and laugh and fill the early morning air with their drunken post-adolescent angst. Or when they steal our… Read More Audience Member-in-Training
Last week, I was felled by what I can only imagine was a troupe of rogue viruses performing experimental theater in my digestive tract. It lasted 24 hours, involved lots of weird noises, and made me nearly crap my pants, just like some of the best experimental theater in Manhattan today. My virus was not,… Read More Parental Guidance
Fussy Pantz 