Dear reader, you have no idea how difficult writing this post was. I am naturally a “lowest hanging fruit” sort of joke-maker, and discussing poop is a loaded topic. I could squeeze out bad joke after bad joke for this one! I wanted so badly to dump every idiomatic expression about dookie into this post… Read More Potty Humor
Let’s go back to a magical time- pre-COVID, pre-lockdown, when staying home for three straight days with one’s toddler required taking time off. Commence wavy lines aaaand *blewdlie doop, blewdlie doop, blewdlie doop . . . * Boychild was about to turn 3 and we thought it was finally time to make this whole potty… Read More Potty Training, Part 1
We’re all still alive. The shorthaired cat we call Tootie may die soon. Let me rephrase: I may throw her out a window, where she will escape and be eaten by a badger or a fisher cat. I’d never heard of a fisher cat before moving to Vermont, but now I know that they are… Read More Quarantine, Week Seleventheenth
Hey! How’s it going? You doin’ okay during these strange times? This is some discombobulating sh!t right here. By now, you probably know the entire world is going through MASSIVE UPHEAVALS and we’re all feeling it in different ways. But I want you to know that you are not alone. I mean, you probably ARE… Read More Upside/Downside, Upside Down
Boychild was sizzling. He was sporting a fever of 103.2 and it felt like a tiny sun was sitting on my lap, radiating solar heat. The big question on our minds is: does he have the Corona virus? It’s been 24 hours since his first fever spike and we’re flooded with anxiety. His temperature is… Read More Quarantine
A short play about trying to get a shirt on my child. Two announcers, MARCUS and BOB are perched at my dining room table while an unseen announcer introduces the main event. ANNOUNCER: In this corner, at five foot seven, weighing 174 pounds, we have BIG MAMA! And in the other corner, standing knee-high to… Read More Gorgeous Lady of Wrestling
Fussy Pantz 