Ladies and gents, I want you to vote for me for presidenta. I’m just gonna make the word “president” feminine by adding an “a”. You get what I’m doing here. Maybe one day soon we’ll need that word. Here’s my pitch: all mothers should be assigned a personal masseuse. As soon as you find out… Read More Putting My Back Into It
Confession: I have no idea what I’m doing. None. I don’t know how to mom. My prior experience in how to be a mom is pretty limited to acting roles. I played a mom once in The Miracle Worker, but that’s it. That’s literally the only time I was cast as a mom. I’ve been… Read More How to Mom?
Hey- did you know that having a child will make you sick? I mean, not just the birthing part where you can’t sit down without a rubber doughnut for months. No. SICK! I mean, sick. Colds, flu, some weird skin disease that looks like you’re rotting. I didn’t know this. I would’ve invested in liters… Read More Mal à la tête
Lately, I’ve been obsessively staring at my son’s hair. I’m like the cartoon guy marooned on an island who sees his buddy as a chicken leg- I see my son’s ideal hairdo every time I look at him. I get itchy fingers whenever I see that little twist of hair growing past his ears or… Read More Haircuts
Pro tip: children, plants and animals must be fed. It sounds rather simple at first blush: feed living things food. If it were only that easy with my child. At first, it was easy: my boobs supplied 100% of his nutrition until Lefty gave up on me. When boychild’s teeth sprouted, it was still easy:… Read More Tube Meat & Nugs
It’s official. Boychild has a bad case of the yes/nos. He came down with it on or around his 2nd birthday and it’s really affecting all of us. We adults are confused, the cats are on edge- we’re all a mess. Thank goodness it’s not contagious, but it IS right annoying. The yes/nos are an… Read More The Yes/Nos
Fussy Pantz 