“I am amazed and know not what to say,” says Hermia from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It’s a fabulous exit line, and she says it after everything she knew to be true is turned on its head. She is so upended she can’t speak anymore, so she leaves. I kept coming back to this line when I watched the Trump insurrection last week. I was so horrified that I was literally struck mute, which is bad for a blogger. I’ve found that to be true in the past year- I’ve been so outraged (by the deaths of innocent Black folks) or so horrified (by our president) that anything I could say or do or post on social media would be insufficient to express my true feelings.

I guess my own mute astonishment is an approximation of how my Boychild feels when he lashes out at us with a hit or a kick. His is rage writ in miniature: impotent, fierce and occasionally adorable. Words cannot convey his frustration, so he has to physically erupt, usually unleashing a fart or two in the process. But we’ll talk about farts later, as I have enough material on that subject for at least 7 blog entries.

As I try to parse through all this (treason? stupidity?), I like to pause for a little bit of parental navel-gazing. How can I keep Boychild from becoming a white supremacist Q-Anon-believing dumb-a$$?? How can I keep him from thinking that because he’s a white male (so far), he’s more important that anyone else? How can I prevent my child from believing a con-man’s lies? I mean, I went along with telling him the whole “Santa Claus” thing, which *SPOILER ALERT* is a total lie. So I’m already setting him up to believe lies. Sigh. Funny thing is, I don’t think I can prevent his future missteps. Here are some of the things I can teach him, which are relevant to what’s happening right now:

Don’t hit the cat. They have feelings. They’re the only creatures in this house that are smaller than you, which makes it tempting for you to abuse them, as you are small and want to exercise your power. But no. We look out for our fellow beings. And we try not to hurt anything with feelings. Do what you will to the stuffed trilobite, as it doesn’t have feelings. Yes, a stuffed trilobite. I’m a fan of the Cambrian explosion.

Stop and pee when you need to. Speak up for yourself and stop ignoring your needs. To do otherwise only harms yourself. Also, walking around with wet britches is no fun.

Take a time out when you’re overwhelmed. Rather than pitch a fit and lash out at everyone around you ( lookin’ at you, Donald) take a time out. Breathe. Come back when you are ready to be nice.

Your actions have consequences. A wise woman once gave me that the phrase “If you choose to do ___________, then you have chosen __________” It works really well on a spectrum of ages and abilities. For example, “If you choose to throw your juice out the window, then you have chosen to be thirsty.” As I lean into Grad School for Counseling Part II, I’m learning that many counseling theories place a lot of weight on taking responsibility for your actions while recognizing free will and choice. This makes so much sense to me both as a burgeoning counselor and mother. Our actions should have consequences and we ideally would take responsibility for our actions and their outcomes. So too should it be with Trump and his supporters. They need to reap the consequences of their actions. “If you choose to take arms against our country and force your way into the nation’s Capitol to subvert the will of the people in a free and fair election during a pandemic, then you have chosen: prison, unemployment, being on no fly lists, divorce, etc.

Hopefully, these lessons might contribute to him becoming a decent person, but who knows? Hey- I do hope that in the coming weeks there will be peace- at least enough peace to think spare thoughts. We all could use some headspace for thoughts other than worry. I can’t wait to be able to freely write silly posts again, and I will. Right now, though? I feel like the sword of Damocles is hanging over all of us, which makes it hard to be frivolous. I am amazed and know not what to say.