It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My Google searches have been thus:

Parenting the Strong-Willed Child
When Parenting isn’t Fun
Discipline for Pre-Schoolers
Cancer
They Might Be Giants Kids Album
How to Lose Weight
Who Will Win the Election 2020
COVID Weight Gain + Anxiety
Cancer
Child Keeps Hitting Mom
etc.

In the past few weeks, life with my sweet and funny Boychild has been particularly rough due to lack of sleep, both his and mine. Lots of screaming and NOOOOOOOOOOOOs, along with the usual hitty-hits and kicky-kicks. So on top of feeling overweight and anxious, I’ve also been feeling like an incapable mother! Win/win! Hey- I know I am not alone in this, and I also know that this feeling of being a dumb mum comes and goes.

Thanks to friends and the Interwebs, I’ve learned some tricks and tips. After venting to a friend who also happens to be a mom, she told me to have another kid. Hahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Hahahahahaa!! No.

Her reasoning was that Boychild will learn that he can’t be the center of attention all the time and will have to adjust. I told her sweetly that another child was a non-starter and that we may have to get a puppy instead. Plus, I’ve been hit recently with Puppy Fever. Uh-oh.

The internet, on the other hand, has told me to look for the positives in my child’s behavior, and so I will. But on the plus side, he has this crazy-funny imagination that is now revealing itself in frantic monologues. It’s charming and breath-taking.

I made the mistake of showing Keaton a scene from Charlie Chaplin’s film Modern Times. Ya know, the scene where he goes into the machine and gets stuck in the gear? Yeah. I messed BC up for a couple of weeks. Gave him nightmares about getting stuck in a gear. But now, he loves to tell everyone about Charlie Chaplin getting stuck in a gear and has confused many a schoolmate and ransom stranger with his tale. It goes something like this:

“So, Charrry Chaplin went to work and got stuck in a gear! Then (big inhale) the guy took back the machine and he went pop out when he reversed it then his butt fell off! Wah wah wah waaaaah!”

It’s not faithful to the film, but it is funny. I think Chaplin would approve.

Boychild is exposed to a few things in the entertainment world, though not much. He watches Dora the Explorer and P.J. Masks in the morning and plays Mad Birds (Angry Birds) on the tablet when he poops in the potty. These days, he combines all of these characters and scenarios in a perplexingly delightful way. To whit, he shows me his imaginary phone, which is actually the palm of his hand and says:

“Mama, I have a game here on my phone where the Mad Birds are in space and Swiper is there stealing Luna Girls splat balls! So. So. You’ve got to touch the gears to make the Mad Bird make the Ninjalinos dissappear in the volcano!”

I have always loved a good story, and Boychild is on track to be an amazing (if disjointed) storyteller. It’s one of his many pluses.

On the plus side for me, in a week, this election will be over (???? please God?), I’ll be less anxious and maybe we’ll all get a little more sleep.