Hey! How’s it going? You doin’ okay during these strange times? This is some discombobulating sh!t right here. By now, you probably know the entire world is going through MASSIVE UPHEAVALS and we’re all feeling it in different ways. But I want you to know that you are not alone. I mean, you probably ARE alone, some of you, as we’re all trapped in our respective domiciles with or without other humans to keep us company. You’ll probably say it’s “weird.” That seems to be the predominant way of describing these days of the COVID 19 shutdown: weird. Let me acknowledge that it’s weird for those of us who aren’t sick, or working in grocery stores/ pharmacies or in healthcare. For those dear heroic folks I’m sure this pandemic is somewhere between “awful” “exhausting” and “insane.”

But for us, it’s weird. 

How’s your toilet paper situation? Y’all using magazines yet? Did you notice all the coffee filters are gone, too? That was always my TP backup. 

This whole shortage astounds me. Lucky betch that I am, I just took it for granted that the good ole supermarche` would have anything my heart desired. I went to la groceria last Friday and lots of things were missing. I’m so spoiled to have expected things to always be there. First world entitlement got a hold of me. Here is a list of things I needed but could not find:

• Chicken bouillon
• Actual chicken in non-startling portions (there were wings and a 10lb bag of thighs. I got the thighs)
• Ground beef
• Chicken nuggets
• Frozen green peas (I got the last bag)

I went down the barren paper products aisle only to find two lonely paper towel rolls covered in cobwebs. I bought them. A tumbleweed followed me out of the aisle. 

I feel like a lot of us are working through an upside/ downside/ upside down existence. I wished for more time with my son and I got it. His daycare is closed. Upside? More time with him. Upside Again? I don’t have to home-school him. Schools are closed for the year, but he’s three, so we’re doing play-based learning. Downside? We can’t go anywhere cool. So what do we do with ourselves? Here are some games we’ve been playing to occupy our time:

Wet shoes. Boychild walks through melted snow and tracks footprints on our deck while I say “Wet Shoes!! Wet Shoes!!” over and over again.

Is this a Hat? We put a variety of things on our head. Then we ask “Is this a hat?” If it falls off our head, it is not a hat. 

Boom. I hold a big foam brick and Boychild runs into it and falls down. I say “boom.” He laughs and says “let’s do it again.” We played this one for about an hour today.

Imaginary Mickey and Minnie. I caught Boychild furtively whispering to himself. When I asked him about it, he told me that he was talking to Mickey. He said Minnie left and Mickey had to go and get her back. There have been many operatic situations since. Mostly, someone’s in danger. There have also been declarations of love for Mickey and Minnie and one time he told me that Mickey was in his tummy, then whispered furiously to him. I can’t help but flashback to the kid in The Shining. If BC tells me there’s a little boy who lives in his mouth, I’m going to freak out. Also, Boychild pet my stomach and told me that, and I quote “Your tummy is cold and it makes me freak out.” I know who he gets that saying from. 

Spaghetti in a Tree. I throw a snarl of kitchen twine up into a tree. If one piece hangs down, Boychild tries to get it. If nothing hangs down, I get a rake and pull it all down. Then we repeat the process until it gets dark and/or cold.  

Bubbles. Lots of bubbles. 

As for acting gigs, it’s been upside/ downside, too. Downside? My shows have been postponed, one ‘til Sep. 2020 and one ‘til Aug. 2021. Upside? More time to work on lines and maybe whittle myself down to a size 10 pant. No pressure, but when I recently saw pics of me, I thought, ugh. So I’m doing this ten minute full-body workout. This pony-tailed German lady is trying to kill me, I’m sure. I’m so sore, y’all. So sore. But moving and sweating help me filter out the anxieties. 

I’m working from home part-time, which is lovely. It’s a new gig, 10-20 hrs a week, and the folks are great. Upside? Smart, passionate folks and interesting work on the precipice of something big. Downside? My fuckin’ cat. This cat is the absolute worst at letting me WORK IN PEACE. Her furry ass has been here twice since I started typing this paragraph. She stomps on the keyboard, rubs on my face and will literally pat me on the cheek if I don’t pay attention to her. She is the best purry stalker ever and I love her, but gawd, get a hobby, Tootie. Dang. Here she is again . . . 

Before the cat ruins my night, I just want to say stay safe and I wish you comfort and safety in these weird-assed times. ❤ ❤ ❤ s;gjephk ]-etulkkkkkkkkkk