I am packing for a trip with Boychild and Husband and I have questions about some articles of clothing that my child has or has once come into contact with. Here are a few of my gentle musings:

1. Why do baby clothes have pockets? I heard a comedian say this once and brushed it off, but now that I have a kid, it resonates big time. Why pockets? Wherefore pockets? Are they for his tiny wallet? His lipbalm? Maybe it’s so someone can ask him for money and he can shrug and pull his empty pockets wrong-side out. Do little girl babies have pockets too, or are they just for the boys, ‘cuz I own many lady-pants that don’t have pockets, which makes me miffed. Why can’t I have pockets like my bepenised brethren? Is the purse industry in on this? I mean, it’s also called a “pocket-book,” at least in the South. If we had pockets, we wouldn’t need a pocket-book or purse or bag, or satchel or whatever! Patriarchy is a purse! But I digress . . .
2. Why would anyone make baby clothes white? I remember Boychild had this amazing little onesie when he was about 3-6 months old. It was a stylish European number in white with a v-neck and orange piping. It had a karate gi quality to it, like he was training for his black belt in breastfeeding. It also vaguely reminded us of an astronauts suit. Needless to say, we loved this outfit and I remember trying so hard to keep it clean and stain free. Until THE DAY. The sky was blue, the birds were chirping, all was well. Then a smirk crossed Boychild’s face as he let out an explosive toot. But it wasn’t just a toot. A river of dooky blasted forth, breaching the diaper barrier and ruining our white onesie for the rest of time. With heavy hearts and rubber gloves, we said goodbye to our much-loved karatestronaut suit.
3. Can we have more options for boys? I have to admit that I dress my son to my own tastes. Of course I do. He’s two, so it’s probably best I buy his clothing for him. If you’re like me, a quirky mom who likes cool things but eschews stuff with cars, trucks, Disney characters, animated characters, and sports of any kind, it can be tough to find something that meets the criteria. Basically, we can go with dinosaurs, flying saucers, non-trademarked animal characters, food, or stripes. I’d also like him to have a little flair. I love all the glitter and tulle and ruffles in the girls’ department and I’d really like Boychild to have some style. How about some fringe? A little velvet, maybe? Some ball-fringe would be nice. I tried very hard to find a onesie that looked like an Elvis jumpsuit and I am convinced if this should ever become available, it would be a smash.
4. That’s all the questions I have right this moment, but I’m sure there are many more. I’m packing and have many more things to do to prepare to shuttle a tiny human all the way to the DEEP SOUTH. Pray for us all. ❤